Dreams

Today was our transfer. Things went very well. Our embryos thawed perfectly and were put exactly where they needed to go. Now all we do is...wait.

I hate waiting.

The only good part about waiting is I am on bed rest today and tomorrow. That could potentially be awesome!!! The only down side so far is that my back, butt, and hips are so sore from my injections that laying in bed is not all too comfortable. I am currently laying on a heating pad which seems to be helping.

I realize that what ever happens from this point is out of my hands. I will just trust God and know that his plan for me is good. If this is not his will then I will just have to accept it and move on (I've done it before). It will be hard, but I do believe that if this is a no then there is a better yes!

I have already started the "things I will do if this doesn't work" list. I will start running again, lose weight (wishful thinking), enjoy a glass (and by glass we all know I mean bottle) of wine, and just try to find ways to enjoy the wonderful life that I have. Of course, I'd rather it just go ahead and work this time!!! I just like to prepare for every outcome.

I do find myself thinking about being pregnant more often these days. I envision myself holding a baby that belongs to me. When I day dream it isn't about tropical islands or pool boys...it's about toothless grins and drooly chins. I long to be awoke in the middle of the night by a baby's cry. I am envious of diaper bags and car seats. Even the thought of changing diapers makes me smile. This is my dream and I want it with every fiber of my soul.

Some day this dream will come true. I am not sure how or when but I just know that it will.