Saturday, September 29, 2012

Thinking Back

I am now 23 weeks pregnant. There are still days that I wake up and almost forget that I am pregnant, but then I look down at my belly or feel him kick and I am quickly reminded about my state.

Just think, 23 weeks ago I was laying on an exam table with a team of people all up in my "Gloria" and my husband standing by my head holding my hand. Maybe not exactly how I imagined it would happen...but it happened and that's really all that matters.

I remember even on the drive home from the transfer I felt different...I just felt like it was going to work this time.

It was about 6 days after my transfer that I broke down and took a pregnancy test. (I didn't share it on my blog because of what happened last time.) It was a Tuesday, and I remember it very well. I knew better than to take a test that soon after the transfer but I did it anyway. And, this time I was so glad I did! It was around 4 or 5:00 in the evening and I had to stop by the store on my way home from work so I decided since I was there anyway i might as well pick up a few HPTs. As soon as I walked in the door at home I went straight to the bathroom. I didn't waste a fact, about 4 minutes after I walked in the door I was staring down at two pink lines! Now, if you remember I saw these lines last time, but this time they were different... nice and dark!! That is like an infertile's holy grail - two dark pink lines!!!!

I called my husband as soon as I saw the lines. He was happy but I could tell he was still a little nervous. I took a test every day after that until I had my blood test on the following Friday. Needless to say, they were all positive.

And here we are today, 23 weeks later expecting a healthy baby boy!!!

I never thought I would be an IVF girl. I always thought that I'd just naturally have a houseful of children. It never occurred to me that it isn't always that easy.

I really don't think you can understand the impact infertility has on a person unless you have experienced it. It is a void that feels like nothing else. I am so glad that I did not give up on my dream to have more children! It was hard and expensive and I'm not really sure how we made it work - but we did! I don't regret any of it!

Don't ever give up if this is your dream! There are options, and there are even organizations who can help financially! It isn't fair that we have to work so much harder, but that should only make us more determined to see this journey through! Don't give up!!! It can happen. God is faithful - this I know to be true!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Full Circle

I will not begin by making apologies for not posting lately...I think we are all very well aware of the fact that I am a lazy blogger. Now, it is more about just keeping up with that stigma.

So on to the latest...

Today was a day that I have dreamed about for years. It really wasn't "special" so to speak - but it was a big deal to me.

I had a regular OB appointment today. My husband could not get off of work and since it was just a quick check I thought I'd just wing it on my own. However, after an unsuccessful attempt at trying to find someone to pick up our ten year old from school (yes, he's ten now - Oh. Em. Gee.) I ended up bringing him along to the appointment.  As I was driving into the city I realized that for the first time our son was about to meet the very doctor who will deliver our new baby...the same doctor who delivered him ten years ago.

To me this was a glorious day. I felt as if I had almost come full circle. Here I was making that same trek in to town that I made ten years ago...a drive that I have been praying that I would get to make again one day. And this time, the life that I once carried inside of me on this drive was sitting in the back seat and a brand new life was kicking me from within. I realized (yet again) just how faithful God is! Everything I have been praying for is happening - and I am so grateful!

Everything checked out well at the doctor's office! Liam's heartbeat was perfect and I measure right on track. I am 22 weeks now - ahhhmazing! So far I have gained 14lbs - not bad considering my whole "bump list" and the heavenly cafeteria ladies at school who have made it their personal mission to make sure baby Liam is well fed!!! I am eating well!! (Before anyone reports me to the "pregnancy food police" I have been attempting to accomplish the Bump List in bite at a time!)

Speaking of bump list...I'm starving!