Monday, October 19, 2009

Screw it!

I am the worst blogger on the face of the planet! Better late than never...right?

So let's see...where did we leave off??? Oh, yes....with me NOT being pregnant, again. I have pretty much reached my end with this whole infertile business. I told my husband the other day that I am just ready to buy a baby, this waiting and then being disappointed every month gets really old, really fast.

This past month I was actually even a few days late. That is probably the worst practical joke that can be played on an infertile. To be late???? I was just about to let myself get a teensy-weensy bit excited and then I took a pregnancy test. Why do I even take them anymore?

After another failed month I went out and, not carrot cake...actually, I bought an ovulation predictor kit. I had stopped using them because I was convinced that they were cursed, plus while I was on meds the doctors pretty much predicted my ovulation for me. But, since I am going the o-naturale route I decided to take my chances. Will it help? I don't didn't in the past. But standing on my head is getting kind of old.

Are you sensing some bitterness in my blog?? You should be. I am past the point of "why" and at the point of "wtf??" I know it is ugly, but I guess I am in an ugly place right now. I am tired of seeing idiot girls with babies that they don't deserve. I am tired of hearing about some loser crack ho giving birth for the 4th, 5th, or 6th time. I am a good person, I am a good mother (most of the time). I love my husband. I have a good job. I have a decent home. I just want another baby!!!!!!!

Screw it!