Friday, June 10, 2011

Infertile Hell

Over the last 24 hours I have literally put myself in INFERTILE HELL!

First, I attended a baby shower last night (that in it self is hell for an infertile) but this was no ordinary baby shower - there was not one pregnant belly, not two pregnant bellies, not even three...there were 4 beautiful pregnant bellies...F-O-U-R!!! It just so happens that I have 4 pregnant friends and they were all in one place last night. The thing is, I love them - and I promise you I am happy for them. I really really am. But, I am honestly and completely jealous of them! I am jealous of their morning sickness, swollen ankles, stretch marks, and extreme fatigue...I am jealous of every minute of it! I try not to be. I keep telling myself that I should be happy with what I have - and I am. But I also want a pregnant belly of my own. I want my friends to gather and celebrate the birth of my next child - I want a sibling for my son. I don't want to be the secretly sad girl that everyone feels sorry for at the next baby shower.

Oh, and to make my first stop in Infertile Hell a real hoot - I decided that I would stick to my diet and forgo the wine that was readily available - why did I do that?? (note to self: next time you are at a baby shower...TIP IT!!!)

The ride is not over yet.

Next stop - Fertility Doctor...

So, we went back to the doctor today. Finally decided to sit down with him and take a look at what went wrong with our IVF cycle. Here's the kicker...

nothing went wrong. Everything was exactly perfect!!!

Yep -

eggs - perfect!
uterus - perfect!
sperm - perfect!

He basically said that I had a 60-70 percent chance of getting pregnant and he has no friggin' clue as to why I didn't!


Everything that needed to happen for the cycle to be successful happened. I believe he even called it "textbook". Geesh! I guess that is what I get for being the Infertile Goddess!! I do have a reputation to uphold.

I think I was better off not knowing the truth. In my mind it didn't work because there was some terrible medical mix up and the doctors were going to make it up to me by throwing in a fresh IVF cycle - on the house!!!

There is some good news husband is making a FULL recovery (if you know what I mean) from the chemotherapy! Things are looking good!!

Also - on the note of good news...I am down 9 lbs!!! I still have about 15 to go - but YAY, it's a start!

I am ready to say goodbye to this placed called Infertile Hell - and I have no interest in sending post cards!!!

Next stop...Fertileville!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Prom Babies and Skinny Jeans

Not much has changed regarding the fertility situation. I do have an upcoming appointment with my fertility doc to discuss what's next - if there is a next. We have explored the adoption thing a little bit more. We have met with a few people who have worked in foster care adoption and are considering that route. I have looked in to private adoption - but I really don't know how we could swing the cost. But it is still on the table!

There is good news though... it's PROM season!! You know what that a few months there will be an influx of sales from EPTs and Clear Blue Easys - and girls everywhere will suddenly "go off to live with their long lost aunts". And what does this mean to me...PROM BABIES!! In fact, I have seriously considered launching an all-out campaign in search of unwanted Prom Babies. I am even willing to make posters and pass out business cards at the local high school come Fall. Perhaps, even an add in our local newspaper - sadly...I'm totally serious! I mean I know it is going to happen - in a few months some girl is going to find herself in the "motherly way" and say: "But, it was my first time." (sure it was sweetie!) She will either: a) do the unthinkable b) be secretly thrilled c) look for options...I could be that option!!!!

So please, pas it along to all of your friends - I am on the hunt for a prom baby!!! I could even be a "long lost aunt" to some sweet little girl "in trouble" - ok that came out kind of creepy...I meant that I would happily turn my guest room into a "home for unwed mothers" on one condition...leave the baby when you go!!!!

So in other news - I am still battling the weight/health issue and am actually seeing success!! I have lost 7 lbs in the last 3 weeks!! Woo-hoo!! I bit the bullet and joined a weight loss center (Metabolic Research Center). I don't care if it is a scam - it is working and I need the accountability that they offer!! the diet is similar to South Beach but it does require that you weigh in once a month and see a counselor - which I totally need!!

I may be wearing skinny jeans yet! Speaking of skinny jeans...

First of all I HATE skinny jeans! I don't think they look good on anyone (ANYONE - especially guys!!!) When I see a girl wearing skinny jeans (actually skinny or not) the first thing I think is "Man, I bet she has a wedgie!" The absolute worst skinny jeans scenario is that of skinny jeans being worn by a slightly chunky 2nd grade child (and why do kids wear them anyway??) on tornado-drill day!! Seriously - no one needs to see that!!!

My definition of skinny jeans:
- jeans that you can zip while standing
-jeans that do not allow for any muffin-top action
-jeans that do not cut off your circulation
-jeans that do not leave red marks and/or possible impalement in ones tummy area
- jeans that allow bending at the knee
-most importantly jeans that stretch!!!

Happy Prom Season!!