Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Our Birth Story

I hope you are ready...this might be a long one...

This is the story of my precious baby son and how he came into this world...

Eight days ago I woke up at 4:30 in the morning knowing it was the last day of my pregnancy. I was excited, nervous, scared, and anxious to see who has been living in my tummy these last nine months.

I didn't have to be at the hospital until 9 but I couldn't sleep, so I watched some movies listened to my stomach growl (I was starving!), and then I decided to give myself a make-over. I had originally planned to just show up at the hospital clean and natural, but with time on my hands and new mascara in my makeup bag I decided to go full Hollywood Glam for my big day (ok - maybe "hollywood Glam" is a bit of an overstatement - but I did wear make up and do my  hair).

We arrived at the hospital and I got checked into my room (like it's a hotel or something) and then we were ready! It wasn't long before they took me back to get started. I actually walked back to the OR (which was weird and a bit scary). I started to think about the surgery and I began to get really nervous - I thought about bolting but then the baby would have to come out at some point so I'd just end up back there anyway....so I stayed.
I don't look so sure about things now.

Once I was in and ready they brought my husband back and the show got started. At one point my doctor said "ok - here we go, I'll have this baby out in 60 seconds." But that didn't exactly happen. Apparently my uterus was pretty cozy with this baby boy and she held on to him for dear life (see I told you my uterus is a Paris Hilton - a spoiled little brat...who doesn't like to share). They literally spent about 30 mins trying to remove this child from my body. The boy would not come out. The doctor had to use the vacuum extractor several times as well as forceps (on a c-section baby!!). I felt like they were yanking my body in every direction possible. It was very rough. Finally, at 12:59 (my section started at 12:15) my son was born. He was perfect. Big and perfect - 8 pounds and 6 ounces of miraculous perfection!

And then I woke up in my maternity suite.

Apparently there was even more trouble after getting the baby out. Putting me back together was no easy task. It was taking quite awhile. I was getting scared because I knew something wasn't quite right - I am not sure what led up to it but they put me "out" and that was that.

My doctor came in later and explained that my body did not want to cooperate with the procedure. Apparently, between my scar tissue and hostile uterus it really put up a fight. He explained that I had lost a lot of blood and may still need a blood transfusion later on, but they were going to keep checking my labs to see. He then proceeded to tell me that he didn't think it was safe for me to get pregnant again (And there it is!). He said my uterus suffered a lot of trauma and he just wasn't sure that it could take anymore. (You know when I think about my uterus I imagine it looks like that octopus lady Ursula from The Little Mermaid - yep - a little mix between Ursula the sea witch and Paris Hilton).

So, this child that almost wasn't really will be my last baby. The strikes against my fertility keep on coming...and my body is literally falling apart (although I never did have to have that blood transfusion)...but we have our sweet baby boy and our sweet big boy and our family is...complete.

And, I am once again the Goddess of Infertility...but I think I'll just go by Goddess and that's all!

Our Sweet Liam Jamison was born on Jan 21st, after years of praying and hoping our dreams came true. We are in love and our family is...complete...perfectly complete!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Looks Like We've Made it!

Tomorrow is the day!! Yep, we are now only hours away from welcoming our miracle into this world...wow!

Looks like we've made it!!!

Overall, I have had a wonderful pregnancy. Every test I have had has ended with remarkably good results. My weight gain has been great according to my doctor (23 pounds). Which, in itself is a miracle considering how I eat these days! I only had a wee bout with morning sickness and have felt pretty good for most of the last 9 months. However, these last few days have been really hard and uncomfortable! And by uncomfortable I mean PAINFUL!

I have this area on my upper abdomen (can't remember if I've mentioned this in previous posts or not) under my right breast that is so insanely sensitive and sore. It is very sensitive to the touch but hurts like hellfire when the baby moves and pushes on that area or if I move in a certain direction and pull on that area. From what I have found in my "google research" and from talking to my doctor we think it is inflamed nerves or something of that nature, caused by the stretching of my muscles and belly. I have found many people online with the exact same symptoms and they have pretty much all attributed it to nerves as well. My doctor was not overly concerned but then again I really haven't complained about it too much (to him anyway). He did tell me the only way to resolve it is to give birth...so i just have to deal with it until then.

Two nights ago the baby was really moving like crazy and seemed to have lodged his head right against that area. I woke up in the middle of the night with sharp shooting pain (it felt like my muscles were burning and being ripped apart). The pain was so bad that I had to get up and move to the recliner to try to get comfortable. That only lasted about an hour. I eventually found myself just pacing around the house sobbing and holding a pillow to my abdomen (it seemed to help a little if I pushed lightly on the area but the pain was still very strong and constant). I was debating on if I should call the doctor - but what was I  going to say??? I knew I wasn't in labor but I was definitely in pain. I felt kind of silly calling them - I knew there was nothing they could do. And to be honest, I was letting my pride get the best of me. I didn't want the nurses writing "TOBP" (Tired of Being pregnant) in my chart. My husband eventually heard me and woke up. He ended up going to the drug store (at 4am) to  get some Tylenol and ice packs (things I had read about online that may help). I found that by icing the area it did dull the pain a little and actually made the baby move away from that spot - I guess he didn't like the ice. When the baby moved the pain reduced immensely and  the Tylenol helped a little - so I was able to get a little sleep eventually. But boy what a night that was!!!

I have been dealing with this pain off and on since the very end of my 2nd trimester but it has gotten worse -a lot worse. I have read that as the baby gets bigger and my abdomen grows it will only get worse...hopefully it will all be resolved tomorrow!!!

Tomorrow we will wake up and head to the hospital to have a baby. Much different than how my first delivery went down...but how he gets here is not important. I just want to lay my eyes on this precious baby!!!

I am a little nervous about the procedure and the recovery - but I have done it once and that went fine...and that was after 21 hours of labor. This time I will get to skip that whole labor part and move right on to the delivery! I am perfectly fine with that!

I can't believe we have made it this far. This was once a dream...a prayer...a wish...and now it is a reality. I am so blessed!!!

Thank you to ALL of you who have helped pray our way through this journey! Before, during, and after! Can't wait to share Liam's arrival with you!!! Stay tuned!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I hate Waiting!

Waiting...that's what we are doing...waiting. I hate waiting!

I am currently scheduled for a c-section on Jan 21st (that's 11 days from now). I know it's not far away, but geesh, I wouldn't mind if he came sooner than that!!! My entire mid section and back are in constant pain. I had no idea one could be so uncomfortable. I don't remember any of this from my first pregnancy...but then again I was only 24! This baby is also breech, maybe that causes a little more discomfort. Or, perhaps it's the fact that this baby is going to be "significantly larger than my last baby" according to the doctor. (Thank God I'm having a c-section!) Either way, I am miserable. (Happily Miserable!)

I am trying not to be impatient. Us infertiles know how annoying it is to hear us cry and complain about not being pregnant and then continue to cry and complain when we do get pregnant. But, infertile or not - this part is PAINFUL!

I am a little more than 38 weeks along. I had already given birth to my first son by now. So, in all reality this is the longest pregnancy I have ever had. (I am sure those of you who have gone past your due date have a word or two for me =) I'm being a baby...I'll admit it.

To be honest though, I feel like I have been waiting for this for years...maybe because I have. It isn't like it's just been the anticipation of a typical 40 week pregnancy. I have literally been waiting to give birth to a child that I have loved in my heart for almost ten years. I have been anticipating the birth of this child for a very very long time.

I would say the waiting has been the hardest part, but really I'm not sure. It could have been the three pregnancy losses, or the cancer (yeah, probably the cancer), or the multiple surgeries and procedures to 'correct' my problems, or the IVF...three times, or the pills, or the hormone shots, or the giant shots in my bum (don't miss those), or the many disappointments along the way, or the financial strain, or the uncertainty...it all sucked actually. But the end result will be beautiful - a baby boy that we have prayed and waited for. A true miracle child...and he will be ours...and he will be here soon. I've come this far...what's 11 more days.

I can wait. I know that. I don't want to...but I
have already proven that I can!
There it is at 38 weeks!