Monday, September 12, 2011

Strange Babies

Strange Baby - Episode 1 "Stalker Baby"

A few months ago my cell phone rang and an unfamiliar number appeared on my screen, thinking nothing of it I answered it. After giving my normal "Hello" I heard a very sweet and sharp "goooo-gahhhhhh-goooooo" - seriously this is what I heard. Again, I tried for the greeting and again I got some more baby babble. Some real authentic baby babble. I looked again at the number and again I did not recognize it. Instead of just hanging up the phone like any (sane) normal person I listened for a moment more and then I completely lost my mind and actually tried to talk to the freakin baby. The baby laughed and gave me some more goos and gahhhs, but nothing I could make sense of. I held the phone to my ear and just listened - for a good seven minutes or so - just listened to some random baby...who was apparently stalking me. The weirdest part (oh yeah - it gets weirder) was that eventually, while listening to the crazy baby talk I started to get a bit teary. I wondered if I would ever get to hear those sounds again...from my very own baby. Here I am practically crying on the phone with some strange baby who I am sure just smashed a bunch of numbers on a phone and called me at random - yet I tried to converse....with a BABY!!!!!!!

In the end, I decided that it must be some sort of sign. I have the gift of turning just about anything that happens to anyone - anywhere in the world into some sort of sign meant for me. In my mind this random phone call from a baby stalker was my "future baby: calling me just to let me know that he or she was still out there and not to give up hope. Ummmm, crazy but I'll take it!

Strange Baby - Episode 2 "Baby Stalker"

Over this past weekend my family and I took a trip to a nearby theme park to celebrate our son's ninth birthday. (Wow 9!!!) It seemed like every single woman there was parading around a sweet baby at various stages of baby cuteness. (Who takes a bitty baby to a theme park anyway??? Me, that's who - just you wait - when I do have a baby I'm taking that sucker everywhere and I'm going to milk being a new mom for all it's worth!) Oh, ok...anyway..back to my story. So, we are there having a grand time with all of these babies just taunting us. Girl babies. Boy babies. Fat babies. Skinny babies. Black babies. White babies. Asian babies. You name it - it was there!

At one point, I found myself smiling and trying to talk to the baby who was being held by her mom in front of me while we waited in line. The baby laughed and smiled but after about 15 minutes and a few odd glances from the mom I decided to wrap things up. Later, I saw the cutest fuzzy haired little boy laying on his mother's shoulder. He reached his arm toward me at and I instinctively leaned in toward him to kiss his tiny baby hand - OMG...I wish I was making this up. I literally almost kissed a strange baby's sweet chubby baby hand - without even thinking!! Thank God, I caught myself and manged to fake out a sneeze instead. So instead of kissing a strange baby I faked sneezed on it - really, I don't know which is worse! I do know that I am now an official baby stalker!

Babies calling me. Seeing babies everywhere I go. One thing is for sure - I'm losing it!!!