You want me to put that where?

Total honesty! TMI Alert!!!

Over this last year my Va-Jay-Jay (whom I will from now on refer to as Gloria) has had more traffic than grand central. But, it is not what you think...our most frequent visitor is that fabulous little (well not really so little) ultrasound wand. In fact, when I do have a baby I will not be a bit surprised if it comes out looking like a tiny ultrasound machine, screen and all! So let's just say that modesty left me along time ago (and I used to be a very modest person). Gloria has more company than she knows what to do with. With that being said you would think that I would not freak the heck out when I read "insert 1 capsule twice daily" on my latest prescription bottle. But I did! When I first read it, I thought well that's a weird way to word it, what do i insert it into my throat or something? Oh, but I don't! Luckily, I was bored one day and actually read the prescription information leaflet and it explained just exactly where I needed to insert the capsule. (thank God I read it, what would have happened if I would have swallowed the damn thing) Holy shizzle! You want me to put that where? You have got to be kidding me!

I decided that I was so not cool with this (and neither was Gloria). I took my case to the doctor...and this is how it went down:

Me: yeah, so about these capsules ...umm how am I supposed to do this?

Her: it sounds weird, but it is much better to do it this way, just insert 1 into your "Gloria" twice a day.

Me: umm, no but for real...I can't do that

Her: yes you can.

Me: ummm...

Her: YOU CAN! But, if you don't feel comfortable you can use an applicator, or just have him do it.

Me: Say What?????????

and so let's just say Gloria and I have gotten very familiar with each other. There was no way in Hell I was going to let him do it. I didn't even want him to know that I had to do it.

I guess you could say that I'm taking this one for the team! It is amazing what mothers will do for their children, even the children who don't even exist yet. But, it sure would be nice if this kid turns out to be a rich doctor or a mega millionaire of some sort...then I could sue him for pain and suffering! (Calm your panties...it was a joke!!!)

Much Love yall,

The Infertile Goddess & Gloria