I hate those Umpa-Lumpas!

If you haven't figured it out by now, let me tell you that the side effects of fertility meds are loads of fun! It is like your own private roller coaster...literally. Let me paint you a picture:

I wake up. I make coffee. It tastes like crap, no wait it's good, no wait...I can't decide. I watch the Today Show (the hour with Kathie Lee and Hoda) and am in tears in a matter of minutes (probably crying over something so not tear worthy like the ambush makeover or Girls Night In segments). I pull myself together. I am hungry, but everything in my kitchen makes me want to vomit. The only thing that looks good are the Salt & Vinegar chips that belong to my husband and I am not supposed to eat anyway. But I do. Then i cry again because I feel guilty about cheating on my fertility increasing diet. I Pull myself together. I decide to work out. The Wii fit tells me that I have gained 2 pounds and makes my Mii character look like an umpa-lumpa. I cry again. And again. I pull myself together. I say screw the work out, I am a giant fat umpa-lumpa who cares anyway. I am hungry. I eat a salad. YUM! Not, really. In the midst of trying to enjoy my salad I begin to sweat uncontrollably, for no reason at all. My husband comes in and sees me sweating like a sumo wrestler. I run into the bathroom. Crying. Because I feel like a sweaty, fat, sumo wrestling, umpa-lumpa...and I hate those damn umpa lumpas.