My 29 Year Love/Hate Relationship with the Big Mac

Well...let me start by telling you that I am hijacking my blog! I created this blog to vent about my infertility problems, but it seems I just have too many problems and not enough blogs! (Of course I am too lazy to just start a new blog about a new topic!)

But, really this topic does kind of bridge into my fertility issues...well, sort of...work with me on this!

This particular entry has been stirring in my head for awhile and I just need to get it out...you are the lucky ones who get to read it...

My Big Mac Story
I did not have my first Big Mac (yes, as in the McDonald's Big Mac) until I was 29 (that's right 29)! Since I can remember I have always struggled with my weight (apparently, it's one of my fertility issues...see I knew we could make it work). I grew up thinking that the Big Mac was the most fattening food known to man. I remember seeing billboards showing how many fat grams are in just one of them (I think it is like a billion) and I thought there is no way I could put all of that in my body at one time. Now, I am sure I ingested many other just as fattening things in those 29 years - but none knowingly (kind of the out-of-sight out-of-mind thing). I would hear some one order one and think "OMG - how can you do that??" I wouldn't dare eat one...especially in public.

I am not exactly what you would call fat...at least I don't feel fat. And, if you know me and would call me fat...well then...keep it to your self please! I am certainly not skinny - I am curvy to say the least. But, I am definitely not the kind of girl who needs to walk around eating Big Macs! So, for 29 years I didn't...ever...in my entire life (at the time).

The Big Mac was kind of my arch enemy...it taunted me. I wanted one many times...but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't give in to it's power. Nope...this sorta-fat girl was standing strong!

Then one night...I caved....

It was a hot summer night, a week before we were going back to school. I was in my 2nd year of teaching and had just completed my 2nd Back to School Open House. Later that night, I was home and completely exhausted when I got the phone call that would lead me to give in to the curse of the Big Mac, and change history forever (well maybe not history-history, but my history)

My father had died.

He was sick and in the hospital, so it was expected but still a very tragic situation (but, that makes for another blog). I called my sister and gave her the news. She immediately drove over to my house, bringing along the biggest bottle of wine I have ever seen (maybe not really the biggest - but this is my story so just go with it). We were not close to our father, but we had recently both made amends while he was in the hospital. I wasn't really sure how ones handles losing a parent, close or not. It was such a surreal experience. Here I was 29 years old and about to bury my father (actually, he is in my closet...his choice - he did not want to be buried). So there we sat, on my front porch the two of us drinking a bottle of wine...crying and then laughing because we really didn't know what else to do.

Eventually, my oh-so-sweet husband came out to check on us and asked if he could get us anything...when suddenly I had an idea. I said, "You know what you could get me...a Big Mac...that's what you could get me." He replied with a very concerned, "Ummm...honey, it's 2:30 in the morning." At that time my sister piped in with, "drive throughsss open 24 hours."

And so...away he went on his mission to get us Big Macs and fries at 2:30 in the morning. (Have you picked up on the emotional eater thing yet...cheetos, carrot cakes, Big Macs...yeah that's me)

I was literally giddy with excitement knowing that I was about to eat my first Big Mac. I felt that at this very pivotal point in my life I damned well deserved to have one.

After he arrived home, I unwrapped my burger like a Christmas package...I was going to savor every minute of it. So, I took my first bite and...

it sucked.

I looked at my sister and said, "What the hell...I have waited 29 years for this??"

It was greasy and goopy and soggy. (I am sure they probably don't give you the finest quality at 2:30 in the morning, but still). It was well, GROSS!

Not gross enough for me not to finish, though!!

So...I had a Big Mac and forget lovin' it I didn't even like it...and to this day that is the only Big Mac I have ever had. And you know what...I'm good with it!


I wonder what I will eat when I finally do get pregnant????