Happy Scared!

It's becoming more and more real...in just a few weeks I will have the baby that I have spent years praying for. I am excited, honored, humbled, ecstatic, amazed, and frankly scared to death.

Why am I scared?

Well, for starters I haven't had a baby around in about 9 years. I have NO REGRETS, but it is just a little scary (in a good way) when I think about how much my life is about to change. I worry that I won't have enough time to get everything done. I just spent the last hour laying in bed reading a magazine debating whether or not I should take a bubble bath...that probably won't happen again for another ten years! But, it will be worth it, I know!!

I am scared because I just can't believe how good God has been to me. I am so blessed that it is scary (again, in a good way). Don't get me wrong...I knew this day would come, I just never considered how emotional it will be to realize that everything you have asked God for is being given to you - WOW. It is hard to even imagine it. God heard my cries and he answered them. He really loves me that much!

There was a time after my husband was healed from cancer that I thought - this was it. There was no way God would give us our miracle baby now because I was pretty sure that we had already reached our "Miracle Quota" with the whole cancer healing thing...that thought only stuck around for a short time...and I am so glad I was wrong!

For the last few days every time I pick up an article of baby clothes, a baby blanket, or even go into the baby's room my eyes fill with tears. I am just so overwhelmed by the thought that this really is a miracle and it is really happening (I am sure it has nothing to do with being 33 weeks pregnant with hormones coming out of my ears).

God truly is giving me what I asked for. This pregnancy has gone perfectly for the most part. Every test I have had has come back with good results, all of my appointments have gone well - things are simply perfect!

My house is beginning to look like a baby lives in it. There is some sort of baby apparatus or baby paraphernalia in virtually every room. From swings, to bouncy seats, to pack and plays - you name it...it's probably here somewhere. When I had my first son we lived in an adorable 1300 square foot house, this time around our house is more than double that size and I must tell you...I miss my little house! I have baby stuff spread out everywhere. The baby's room is upstairs and our room is down stairs, so in an effort to not drive myself nuts we have created a temporary nursery in our bedroom. So now I have baby stuff in my room as well as upstairs in his room - I am certain that I am going to lose something at some point...let's just hope it's not the baby! I am trying to convince myself that if I leave some baby items upstairs it will force me to go up and down the stairs and get "exercise" at the same time...yeah, we'll see how long that lasts!

Pregnancy Progress:
I went to the doctor yesterday. Everything is right on track! The baby is doing well and things seem to be on schedule. I have had some contractions here and there, Braxton-Hicks I'm sure. They are not regular so it really isn't anything to worry about. I had my older son about 3 weeks early, I know that doesn't mean anything this time around - but let's just say I wouldn't mind if it did.

33 weeks and counting!!

One year ago today I was still getting over a failed IVF and miscarriage. This baby was just a prayer on my lips...now he is boy in my womb. God is so good! I am thankful!!